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Tuesday, October 30, 2012

My Relationship with Running

I've been looking forward to this post all week.  Not because I have anything fantastic to say but because my blog has become my accountability partner.

I'm gonna be totally honest.  I feel like I have completely fallen off the wagon this week.  I did complete week one of C25K, but I ate crap and only went to the gym when it was time for a run.  No weights or eliptical.  SHAME ON ME!  I knew I totally deserved what I would see when I stepped on the scale this morning.  My weight last week was 208. This morning: 210.  Okay, I can live with that considering what I ate this weekend.

This happens every time I don't go to the grocery store as soon as I get paid. I take a frozen meal to work that I don't want to eat and then go out instead.  Other than lasts nights dinner, I ate out for every meal since pay day.  Friday was Starbucks, Panda Express and JT's, Saturday was Panda Express and Papa Johns, Sunday was Starbucks, Subway and KFC.  Yesterday I was determined to eat right.  I was bored all morning at work and my lunch (the frozen meal thats been waiting for me since Friday) just wasn't appealing to me.  So I went to Hibachi grill.  *SIGH* My name is Bethany and I am an emotional eater.   This time the emotion was quite literally boredom.  Especially boredom with food.  Whats even worse is, I could have purchased a lot of healthy food with the money I spent eating out.  When I have good meals to eat, I want to eat them.  The crimson tide is also on it's way in...I ate chinese three times.  FAK.... (thats my new favorite word)

I also had a co-worker approach me yesterday just to tell me that she could tell that I looked fantastic and that she could tell that I was losing weight.  This meant a lot coming from someone who it normally very quiet and reserved.  It was probably this only thing that gave me the determination to finish week one.

So, back to the subject at hand.  Running,  I have decided to take the Couch to 5K challenge because all my life I have always wanted to be a runner hated running.  Sounds kinda backwards huh?  Well, I'm doing this because its something that I wanted to prove to myself that I could.

In the past couple months I have worked myself up to an hour of cardio.   Usually I do 20 minutes on the elliptical, then 10 to 20 minutes of walking or interval running and then 20 minutes on the elliptical again.  Leaves me sweaty and burns about 650 calories.  I love that workout but I get bored with it often.    My gym also has a cardio cinema so if there's a good movie on its a great workout because the time passes quickly.  If I have good music to keep me motivated (i.e Pandora is picking the right songs) its also a good workout. There was one day that a good song came on (Pink "So What") and it made me feel like kicking some ass.  I ran for 9 minutes straight after that song.   However, I hate being at the mercy of things beyond my control.  Time to create a play list I guess.

C25K: The first couple of workouts consist of a five minute warm up and cool down then  20 minutes of a walk/run cycle in between.  It was a great start to the program but I didn't really feel like why was pushing myself physically.  This has only made me more motivated to get to the upcoming weeks.    I also don't want to burn myself out.

 The only time we really had to run in school was while running the mile.  I was never able to run the whole thing and can't even remember finishing in less that 15 minutes.  This was a big source of shame.  I wanted to be able to keep up with my peers but I don't think I had the maturity to work through the pain.  Up until I was 15 I was very thin, so I never felt the need to workout.  My body always protested.    I was never good at sports because I was slow and uncoordinated.  In middle school I tried.  I really wanted to play Volleyball and Softball (both were available as an intermural before having to try out for a team) but I could never keep up at practices with running.  I wasn't strong enough to serve/throw the ball or coordinated enough to throw.  These realizations lead me to shy away from the competition.  I remember one day in gym we were playing soft ball.  I had hit the ball and was running the bases.  I don't think that I had hit a home run, but I still hit it pretty far.  Eventually I got back to the dug out and realized that a couple of girls in the class were making fun of the way that I ran.  I didn't confront them or get upset but I made a promise to myself that I would never run in front of people again.  Any desire that I had to be on the softball or volleyball teams was crushed that day.   I'm sure I still had to run in PE after this occasionally but I'm sure that I never tried very hard.  I also did everything that I could later in high school to make sure that I didn't have to take PE.  (You could get a waiver if you were in sports or marching band)

It wasn't until about 6 months before my wedding that I tried running again.  This time I would just run around in my neighborhood.  I would walk for about half a mile and then I would start to run.  I didn't really time myself but I would pick a spot to run to, stop and walk and then run again.  This lasted for about three weeks and I lost about 5 pounds.  I think I may have pushed myself too hard because the shin splints were too much and I decided again that running just wasn't for me.

While doing C25K outside, I have an app on my phone that will record the distance and pace of my run.  Its really helpful because I can listen to my music and the timer tells me when its time walk or time to run.  The first day I did 2.25 miles at about a 14 min mile pace.  I discovered that the distance and pace do not get recorded while on the treadmill.  I will need to run outside for at least one workout a week to get an accurate idea of how much my pace is improving.  The difference with running on the treadmill is that the machine helps to keep me moving a little bit.  I guess I'll just have to balance.  I was also very sore after the first two runs, and then after the third, I wasn't.  Hopefully this is a sign that I am easing my body into this program.

Happy Anniversary to my husband.  We were married two years ago on beautiful fall day.  I can't wait for him to get home from work tonight so we can celebrate.  (Get your minds out of the gutter hookers, thats not what I meant.  maybe.)  I think I'll even let him pick the restaurant!

Happy Running!

Mrs. B

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